Well, this isn't too good

This unfortunate Taiwanese fisherman, pictured at right being carried away on a stretcher, was struck by lightning in his genitals while he was fishing. I hope he is okay because it's such a good story that it would be a shame for him not to be able to share it. Of course, if the damage is permanent, I'm not sure that he'd really want to spread the word that lightning struck him in the balls. However, his picture being in the paper and all over the Internet might be a giveaway.

Taitung angler's genitals struck by lightning

The China Post news staff

TAITUNG, Taiwan -- An angler's genitals were struck by lightning while he was fishing yesterday morning at a reef on Green Island, located off Taiwan's coast in the eastern county of Taitung, according to coastal patrol policemen.

The angler, 47 and named Chen Ming-wen, was fishing at a reef off the Nanliao Bank of the Green Island, when a bolt of lightning -- attracted by the fishing pole he was holding -- struck, running down to his privates.

Soon after being informed of the accident at 8:55 a.m. that morning, firemen rushed to the spot and sent Chen to a nearby clinic for emergency medical treatment.

Coastal patrol policemen then sent Chen to Mackay Memorial Hospital for further treatment,

Doctors said that Chen had some 20 percent of his body burnt, and remained conscious, adding that they would conduct further examinations to see if Chen's sex ability is undermined or not.

Weathermen said that as the thunderstorm would linger in Taitung area, people had better not expose themselves to the open space.

Meanwhile, a veteran angler said fishing men should be aware that the general fiber-carbon fishing pole can conduct electricity.

Don't mess with your face.

There weren't too many actresses who were prettier than Priscilla Presley. She was absolute gorgeous, even with that black bouffant hairdo she wore when she was married to Elvis. She was just plain old pretty.

I realize that nobody wants to get wrinkled and old, but if you were a pretty younger woman, you're likely going to be a pretty older woman, even if you have lines and wrinkles. That's what time and experience do to you. But lines and wrinkles do not make a pretty face ugly.

Look at Sophia Loren and Catherine Deneuve, neither of whom appear to have touched their faces with plastic surgery. They are older and they are beautiful. Both of them have wrinkles. But I guess Priscilla didn't want to go that route, and has tapped the surgical fountain of youth too many times. She's made herself scary looking. I don't get it. Her face looks permanently semi-smiling, and if you look at a close-up, there are lumps in her cheeks (maybe pieces of facial filler). Does she think this looks nice? I don't even have anything funny to say because this is really kind of sad. She was absolutely gorgeous. In The Naked Gun she was stunning and she was not a kid in that movie. Her daughter Lisa Marie was grown when that was made, I believe. She did not need to do this to herself.

Don't mess with your face, kids.

The most honest moment I have seen on "Reality TV"

So my daughter and I are watching Rock of Love, which is sick in its own right, and a commercial for Celebrity Fit Club comes on. Erin Moran, from Happy Days and Joanie Loves ChaChi, is evidently on the show this season. On the commercial, she's telling that drill sergeant guy that she just wants to go home, then he yells at her and asks, "Why are you here?!" and she answers, "I'm here for the money, okay?" And then you see the guy's face contort in complete horror.

From this point forward, I friggin' love Erin Moran. She is my new hero. 

British youths banned from buying ketchup

I'm not quite sure why I am so fond of this story, but somehow a community refusing to sell eggs and ketchup to teenagers in order to lower crime strikes me as pretty funny. Here you have to regulate handguns. There you just have to stop selling eggs and condiments, and in no time at all you see an improvement in the crime rate.

You gotta love those British.

Supermarkets have banned sales of eggs and tomato ketchup to young people in a bid to cut anti-social behaviour.

About a dozen residents in the Charles Close area of Caister-on-Sea, near Great Yarmouth, have reported tomato sauce being squirted at cars and homes. Norfolk Police asked supermarkets in the town to challenge youths trying to buy sauces in squirty bottles or eggs. Sgt. Andy Brown said no more complaints had been received in the past two weeks since the agreement came into force.

'A bit daft'

Sgt. Brown said squirting ketchup was not a criminal act but it could be possible to bring charges of criminal damage if paintwork was damaged on homes or vehicles. He said: "We had about a dozen complaints from residents, some of them elderly, about people squirting ketchup over doors, windows and vehicles."

"One of the ways we have looked at tackling that is to speak to local schools and businesses to get them to agree to not sell tomato ketchup to young people. I know it sounds a bit daft, but it has made a difference because we have had no more reported incidents since the supermarkets came on board with this."

Martin Bailie, from Lidl supermarkets, said staff from its Caister branch became aware of a problem before police asked them for help. "Our staff were challenging youngsters who were trying to bulk buy these things. … It is anti-social behaviour and it was getting out of hand."

"It wasn't that we haven't been selling eggs and ketchup to youths, but have been careful about who we have sold them to, and we are glad it has been making a difference." 

'Naked Tickler' Gets 25 Years In Prison; Police: Man Terrorized Women For Years, Left Bodily Fluids

Disgusting story, and does this surprise anybody that it happened in Florida? (Florida and Texas are "Land of the Crazies," I swear. Those two states probably account for 90 percent of the weird shit that happens in this country.) I think 25 years is suitable for terrorizing people and peeing into the milk they give their kids or put in their coffee. 

This guy was so proud of himself for peeing in the milk, he made a video. I'm going to go out on a limb and make the assumption he has not earned his doctorate in anything. Just putting it out there. Anyone care to discuss? Anyone?

I wonder what his mother thinks of all this nonsense. I'll tell you this much: SHE CAN'T BE TOO HAPPY ABOUT IT.

NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Fla. -- A 50-year-old man who police dubbed the "naked tickler" for terrorizing women for years by sneaking into their homes and tickling them was sentenced to 25 years in prison. Police said Thomas Blacine would leave bodily fluids at the homes of women in the New Smyrna Beach area while they slept. 

In one case, Blacine recorded himself urinating into a jug of milk inside a victim's home, investigators said. Blacine was initially arrested in October and confessed into breaking into homes and videotaping victims while they slept, Local 6 reported. A police dog tracked Blacine's scent to a sport utility vehicle parked near the 700 block of East Second Street after a woman said she was fondled in her sleep. 

"I felt something on my leg and thought it was my cat and I look up and it was this naked guy," Combs said after the latest attack. "And he ran again." Earlier, Blacine pleaded guilty to burglary and possession of narcotics.

Incredible video on youtube

This video was posted in response to the "It's Raining McCain" video by the McCain Girls. It's so much better than the original, but steals liberally. Hey, they are used to copyright infringement. I don't know how to embed, so use the link.

Response to McCain Girls video

Don't y'alls just wish ...

... that Heather Mills McCartney would just shut the f**k up and go away? Enough with this woman bitching and acting crazy and being on Dancing with the Stars and being a guest celebrity judge at the Miss USA pageant (how exactly is she a celebrity anyway?), and pouring water on people's heads. Why do they keep interviewing this nasty woman? All that comes out of her mouth is venom and bullshit, and she rants and raves incoherently. 

She's got no credibility. The divorce judge told her outright that she lied, and she promised to give all the money she received from Dancing with the Stars to charity, but only gave half. OOPS. She's no more than a lying bitch who acts all charitable and selfless but whose every action is self serving.

You know who I feel sorry for. That little baby Beatrice. Paul's kids with Linda are all well adjusted and happy, but they had a mother who was this cool, photo-taking, vegetarian-cookbook-writing woman. You never saw her on t.v. ranting and raving; Linda was always promoting healthy vegetarian diets and going on tour with Paul and the family and saying how much she loved her kids. Linda never poured water over anybody's head.

Then you've got this shrill, shrieking banshee. Poor baby Beatrice. I really do feel for her with this nasty mother with lousy plastic surgery that only made her harsh face look even meaner. She crawled right from the depths of hell to give poor Sir Paul misery. His kids were so right when they told him not to marry her. And now this little baby is stuck with this lunatic mother.

Heather:  Just take your millions of dollars of Paul's money and your fake leg and GO THE F**K AWAY.

Hillary. I dig huh.

I dig Hillary. Not that I don't dig Obama. I like him a lot; watching him address questions makes me feel like I am looking at a very smart person with good ideas. I felt that way about Bill Clinton, too. I felt like he understood everything he encountered. I like having a smart president, not that we would know what that's like these days. I swear, they must do "Hooked on Phonics" in the Oval Office in between appointments.

There are these Obama commercials on the radio lately that are totally pissing me off, though. I am hearing them mostly on a station that would likely be listened to by people who are, say, in their late teens to 30s maybe. Obama, he'll end the war. Obama, he gets us. 

He gets us? What about us is there to get? There's millions of us. Does anybody really ever get us individually, let alone as a statistically similar group? We are a very diverse group of people, each of us completely different. Different temperaments, motivations, backgrounds. All of us are set off by different things. What about us is there to get? 

I don't think there is a single person on this planet who gets me. I was married for 14 years to a guy who didn't get me, my parents don't get me, my sister doesn't get me. There are people who love and adore me and know me well. They come close to getting me, but nobody hits the nail on the head.

And I don't think I'm much different than anybody else in that respect. People are very hard to sum up real easily. People are complex. It's convenient to look at young people as this homogenous group, but if they are all so vapid that they are that easy to get, then there is a major problem. And if they are so dumb that they'd fall for a line like, "He gets us," then that problem is really serious. I would like to think that is not the case.

I like Obama, though. But I sure do hate that commercial.

None of this has anything to do with anything, though. Maybe Obama is capitalizing on his personal warmth. Hillary, I think, is a hard person to warm up to in many respects. She seems to have a stiff upper lip in a lot of ways. I agree with a hell of a lot of what she says, so that's good. She's smart as hell, and that's great.

The day after Hillary announced her candidacy, I was in the pediatrician's office for a sick visit and the nurses were discussing how glad they were she was running. I chatted a bit with them about it. They see too many uninsured kids, kids who need better health coverage. They want to see more kids covered and able to get medical care they need, and Hillary's winning would do that. Kids having the healthcare they need is something very close to my own heart, and I appreciated hearing that from people who see the real situation firsthand.

I always thought she was a bit humorless, though. I mean, you might be, too, if your very smart husband pulled all that shit, but still, I want a president who gets the joke. Then last night I'm going to pick up my kids, and WMMR is repeating an interview Preston and Steve had with Hillary earlier that day. Evidently Jack Nicholson called a radio station and announced he was endorsing Hillary, and Hillary breaks into this Jack Nicholson impersonation, not great, but funny. Steve says he's willing to endorse Hillary on the radio if she'll promise him a ride on Air Force One. She says that it's a deal, and if it makes any difference, she's willing to come on over and clean his house. Ha!

I know her chances are slim to nail the nomination at this point, but I gotta choose a president willing to dust my blinds over one whose commercials say he gets me. Cuz that's what I base these decisions on.

Love to all.

Always crashing in the same car

One of my favorite David Bowie albums (along with Station to Station, Ziggy Stardust, and Scary Monsters) is Low. Along with Station to Station and Heroes, which I love but quite not in the same way, it's very electronic and has a sound I can't describe, but it does something for me.

I have always felt like David Bowie was so ahead of his time, a trendsetter and never a follower. At least for many years. Then the Let's Dance album came out, and I was devastated. I don't care if you like China Girl (listen to Iggy Pop's version; it is the far superior of the two), the album was shit and marked David Bowie's becoming a follower and not an innovator (maybe he was just seeing a record contract to fruition, who knows?). 

I felt so strongly about despising this "Serious Moonlight" business that it almost came to blows with some goofy girl with thick glasses who was sitting with a bunch of us in front of the Food Coop at the U of M in College Park, Md. She was going on and on about how brilliant David Bowie was, and I pointed out that his latest album was a piece of crap and that it appeared he'd given up on actually trying to make amazing music. She was very upset about all this, I would not budge an inch, things escalated, and we came close to punching each other. I'd have aimed for those thick glasses, for certain, but we were surrounded by people who did not care about David Bowie quite so much, they calmed the heated atmosphere, and in the end cooler heads prevailed.

But none of this has anything to do with this post. The thing is, on Low, there is a song called Always Crashing in the Same Car. And before I ever heard it I thought the title was the most clever thing and pretty much summed up human nature, at least my human nature. I don't know about you, but I make the same mistakes over and over, and don't really seem to learn from them. At my age, I feel like I should be financially secure, successful in a career that's lucrative and rewarding, be taking regular vacations. I feel like I should have a plan. But, I'm as haphazard as I have ever been, making it up as I go, waiting for the next check to make the next payment, making the same mistakes over and over, having the same useless conversations with people who are ineducable and are never going to really comprehend. An appointment in an attorney's office this past week, while not overly dreadful compared to what might have been, made this extra evident.

Always crashing in the same car.

Alas, dears, let me go and withdraw from my borderline overdrawn checking account (once my bills hit) and take my children out for breakfast.

Love to all.

There is a woman who works ...

... at the Burger King drive-through right on Route 1 who looks a hell of a lot like Edith Massey. And it's scary to get your large veggie-burger combo from someone who looks like that. Do you really want Edie, the Egg Lady, getting your Coke for you?

I don't think I do.

Playing Scrabble with your kids

Tonight I played Scrabble with my kids. My son will be 13 in a month and my daughter is 11-1/2. We played for no points and you could use words that might not pass for words in Webster's but no swear words. Just so you know, the words "tit," "dong," "STD," "groin," and "AARP" were all put on the Scrabble board with giggles.

Amazingly, I do not drink to cope.

Love to all.

The Pussycat Dolls Presents Girlicious. I watch it.

I am embarrassed to admit that I watch the Girlicious competition on the CW t.v. channel. I can't blame the fact that I have an 11-year-old daughter who loves this kind of show (along with America's Next Top Model and Project Runway) because I could do something else when it's on or I could just not let her watch it because it's not exactly promoting good values. 

But I don't do either of these things. I sit and I watch it with my daughter, and I get into it despite the fact that these women are overly made up, wear skimpy clothing, gyrate provocatively, talk trash about each other, and sing a type of music I despise. If they were my neighbors, I'd only say hi to them to be polite because most of them are not very nice people. 

Each week, the women compete by singing in a group and individually, and engaging in vile gyrating that, in this realm, is referred to as dancing. When a woman gets cut from the competition, Pussycat Dolls founder Robin Antin (who has stomach muscles that make it evident she never had a 9-lb. baby) says to her, "I'm sorry. It's time to hang up your boa."

I mean, ewwww.

My favorites have been eliminated at this point. Ilisa was eliminated several weeks ago and Carrie was cut tonight. Neither of these women were your traditional garden-variety sexpot types and both were very talented. In both cases, I believe that their not being overly pretty in an in-your-face kind of way cost them the competition. 

Why do I watch this show?

I am pretty sure I can tell you who is going to win. Of the 5 finalists left, I believe Nichole (pretty, blonde, 18-year-old), Tiffanie (pretty, black woman) and Natalie (pretty Hispanic woman) will be the last women standing. Only Nichole seems to be the least bit pleasant. The remaining 4 women I can't stand.

It's good to see L'il Kim as a judge on this show. She may have done some time in the slammer, but I like this woman. She's forthright in her opinions. What saddens me is Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray turning up as an MC in the Pussycat Doll Lounge. Good grief, how the mighty have fallen. And I think he's had some serious plastic surgery into the bargain. He was so handsome. What's up with that?

Again, why do I watch this show?

Annie Lennox Goes After McCain Girls?

Checking on youtube tonight, I was unable to find "Here Comes McCain Again" by the McCain Girls. There was a note in its place that said it had been taken down due to copyright claims by The MCPS - PRS Alliance Ltd.

Turns out that's a musical copyrighting organization. Glad to see someone's out there protecting the rights of Annie Lennox, who is miles from being a far-right conservative and who may have objected to the use of her and Dave Stewart's song as well as stretches from the video to promote a political candidate not exactly on the same wavelength as she is. (No offense to John McCain, who I'm sure is a good man. He's just not Annie Lennox's type of good man.)

Will keep you posted. 

I love Annie Lennox, by the way. She and Tracey Thorn have perhaps the two most beautiful voices of contemporary female vocalists. Oh, and Cindy and Kate of the B-52s also. Can't forget Cindy and Kate!

Love to all.

The Best Article Ever on MSNBC.com Today

This is why the Internet was made, folks. I'm pretty much on board although I don't think Pamela Anderson looks like she smells. I do, however, think Angelina Jolie looks like she smells.  Brad Pitt also looks smelly, so perhaps that is why they get on so well. Jen Aniston has never appeared smelly; her hair has always looked very shiny and clean, in my estimation.

Actresses Who Look Like They Smell Bad

By Ree Hines, MSNBC Contributor

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen

Leading the pack of smelly looking ladies is the fashion-forward, hygiene-backward twosome, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. The cherubic-child-actors-turned-boho-chic-Starbucks-guzzlers rarely bother dragging a comb through their unruly manes, much less putting their big bucks toward tidy threads. Mary-Kate is easily the worst twin offender, sporting what looks like days worth of caked-on eyeliner and puffing on a perma-smoke, but Ashley vies for her moment in the grubby spotlight, too, with her recent knack for stealing her sibling's grunge aesthetic.

Kirsten Dunst

Shampoo? Meet Kirsten Dunst. Kirsten? Meet shampoo. A real life version of that exchange might have spared Kiki her spot on this list. Then again, maybe not. Those greasy locks need some serious help, but there's still the nagging nicotine smell that likely lingers around her. As for her overall assumed aroma, it's not looking good for Kirsten. Last year, Star magazine quoted an insider as saying, "Kirsten's friends have nicknamed her 'Stinky.'" The source claimed the moniker was due to Kirsten having, "the worst body odor!" And a service industry blogger known as "BitterWaitress" not only pegged Kirsten as a tip-stiffer, but added, "She smelled, badly." Ouch.

Helena Bonham Carter

Poor Helena Bonham Carter. Remember when she was the elegant, young princess of period drama? Oddly enough, as her characters slid from swanky to slovenly, so went Helena's personal style. Now that she's paired up, both in almost-wedlock and work, with Tim Burton, Helena looks like his dingy doppelganger and sometimes worse. It's not just her dumpster-worthy duds that register on the hypothetical stink-o-meter; that poorly groomed nest of hair piled haphazardly on her head doesn't look so fresh, either.

Pam Anderson

If anyone ever suffered stink by association, it's Pamela Anderson. The former "Baywatch" babe hitched her matrimonial wagon to three of the most malodorous looking men around: Tommy Lee, Kid Rock and Rick Salomon. To make matters worse, professionally she's worked as "ta-da!" girl for Criss Angel (a man worthy of his own 5Top list of potential odors). Romantic rumors abound for Pam and her illusionist boss-man, and, well, that fits her pattern. But Pam stands accused of more than second-hand stink. She may clean up well for gigs, but, without the stage shtick and spackled mounds of make up, she looks like she just rolled out of bed in whatever she wore the night before.

Cameron Diaz

When Kirsten's done with the shampoo, Cameron Diaz could use a dose. Cam's frequently oily tresses, which look all the worse when teamed with what can only be called a sweaty sheen, make for a presumed B.O. hazard. Granted, the men folk don't seem to mind. Cameron's famously dated Matt Dillon, Justin "Sexy Back" Timberlake, and was even once engaged to No. 4 on the "Actors who look like they smell bad" list, Jared Leto. Just like the guys, cute looks trump foul smells every time.

The McCain Girls: Scaring me shitless

Evidently I have been a bit slow on the uptake with regard to the "McCain Girls" phenomenon, but better late than never, right?

The McCain Girls are three frightening women who remake songs, tweak the lyrics (rather badly, I might add) to show support for Republican presidential candidate John McCain, and then post them on youtube.com. I've attached some pics from McCain Girls videos.

These photos are not doctored in any way. The videos are really that bad.

There are three McCain Girls videos posted on youtube right now. One is called, "It's Raining McCain," which is a remake of "It's Raining Men." There are parts in it where there's a woman who looks like an Ohio grandma shimmying and shaking her thang. Just horrifying. At another point, John McCain is falling from the sky outside the window while two of the three women watch and point. Evidently he saw the video and decided to end it all by throwing himself off a building. 

Another of the McCain Girls' videos is called, "Here Comes McCain Again," and is a ripoff of Annie Lennox's "Here Comes the Rain Again." For that alone, these women should be smacked. You just don't screw with an Annie Lennox song. It's pretty much a criminal offense. John McCain is flying around this one, too, except in ghost form. Coming to people's windows in the night and whatnot.

Listen. I don't want John McCain coming to my window at night. Tell him that if you see him, please.

 The third video is the most curious. Evidently one of the three video stars does not like the comments being made about the other McCain Girls videos on youtube. Instead of ignoring the comments or disabling them, she made another video that shows her sitting at an organ and then telling youtube viewers to f*k themselves and saying that nobody gives a sh*t what they think. Call me crazy, but I just don't feel confident that telling voters to f*ck themselves is going to help her candidate. 

If this is what Republican women tend to look, sing, and speak like, I am glad I am a Democrat, by the way. And I think I will stay that way. I'm fairly certain that I will age far more gracefully if I do.

If you would like to view any of these videos, just go ahead to this link to youtube and do a search for "McCain Girls." At the moment, one of their videos has been getting a lot of hits and is available to click on right there on youtube's home page. 

If this is what America is watching, how is it then that I am not an international superstar? 

Love to all.