Always crashing in the same car

One of my favorite David Bowie albums (along with Station to Station, Ziggy Stardust, and Scary Monsters) is Low. Along with Station to Station and Heroes, which I love but quite not in the same way, it's very electronic and has a sound I can't describe, but it does something for me.

I have always felt like David Bowie was so ahead of his time, a trendsetter and never a follower. At least for many years. Then the Let's Dance album came out, and I was devastated. I don't care if you like China Girl (listen to Iggy Pop's version; it is the far superior of the two), the album was shit and marked David Bowie's becoming a follower and not an innovator (maybe he was just seeing a record contract to fruition, who knows?). 

I felt so strongly about despising this "Serious Moonlight" business that it almost came to blows with some goofy girl with thick glasses who was sitting with a bunch of us in front of the Food Coop at the U of M in College Park, Md. She was going on and on about how brilliant David Bowie was, and I pointed out that his latest album was a piece of crap and that it appeared he'd given up on actually trying to make amazing music. She was very upset about all this, I would not budge an inch, things escalated, and we came close to punching each other. I'd have aimed for those thick glasses, for certain, but we were surrounded by people who did not care about David Bowie quite so much, they calmed the heated atmosphere, and in the end cooler heads prevailed.

But none of this has anything to do with this post. The thing is, on Low, there is a song called Always Crashing in the Same Car. And before I ever heard it I thought the title was the most clever thing and pretty much summed up human nature, at least my human nature. I don't know about you, but I make the same mistakes over and over, and don't really seem to learn from them. At my age, I feel like I should be financially secure, successful in a career that's lucrative and rewarding, be taking regular vacations. I feel like I should have a plan. But, I'm as haphazard as I have ever been, making it up as I go, waiting for the next check to make the next payment, making the same mistakes over and over, having the same useless conversations with people who are ineducable and are never going to really comprehend. An appointment in an attorney's office this past week, while not overly dreadful compared to what might have been, made this extra evident.

Always crashing in the same car.

Alas, dears, let me go and withdraw from my borderline overdrawn checking account (once my bills hit) and take my children out for breakfast.

Love to all.